The Theorist

I like to talk about things that interest me. Sometimes I talk about things that interest everyone else too, but that is pure coincidence.


Metrodome roof collapse

Um, I would guess they won’t be playing a game here for quite some time…


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Theories, Observations and Tips No. 1

…Or, what’s been going on this week in my brain…

You can teach your toddler to not develop an addictive personality. Seriously, you can. Maybe. For those of you with small children, this may make a little bit of sense. What are you in constant search of as the parent of a toddler? Silence? Peace? Sanity? Love? All of the above? When you find something that your child likes (maybe a shiny new toy), when do you take it away from them? Probably not while they are contented by it, right? No, you wait until they are fed up with it, and then you find a new way of entertaining them. Let me launch this idea at you, though: What if you DID take it away while they were enjoying it? Would it be mean? Yes. Would it be to your immediate detriment? Absolutely. BUT, would it also serve as a barrier to your child’s need to be contented by outside influences, and thus learn to rely only on themselves for happiness? I, uh, think so. But hey, I’m no doctor.

You should be able to make an Energy Smoothie at home without a blender or expensive supplements. And guess what? You can. Pay close attention as I give step-by-step directions…

       Step 1: Purchase a Five Hour Energy.

       Step 2: Purchase a gas-station-sized bottled (12 oz) juice drink. I use grapefruit juice. Orange juice is also good.

       Step 3: Freeze the juice. This is the hardest step.

       Step 4: If you completely freeze the juice, let it thaw just enough to shake it.

       Step 5: Take a healthy swig of the juice, just enough to allow enough room to pour the Five Hour in.

       Step 6: Pour the Five Hour into the frozen juice.

       Step 7: Shake vigorously.

       Step 8: Drink

       Step 9: You’re welcome.

Billy Beane really regrets the Matt Holliday fiasco. By acquiring David DeJesus and Edwin Encarnacion in the past week, it seems as though the A’s are really trying to put together a winning team that has the potential to get them over the top. This, despite a net loss in the two Holliday deals tells me that Beane probably believes that if he can win now, maybe nobody will notice that 1) he got out-Moneyballed by the Giants, and 2) the Holliday fiasco was a horrible idea that could come back to haunt him unless the A’s can continue to stay competitive on the field. I expect to see even more moves by the A’s during this off-season.

Thank you for reading. Now, get out of my head.


Four-by-Four Picks 11/14/2001

HERE ARE THE RULES: Jason and I will each pick four players every week: one quarterback, one running back, one wide receiver, and one tight end. The four players they decide upon may not be used again by their respective owner for the remainder of the season. Using Yahoo!’s fantasy scoring system, we will declare the winner as the one having the most fantasy points each week, and the winner for the season being the one with the most weekly victories. In the event of a tie, we will fight to the death.




QB: Peyton Manning (Colts) – An obvious choice. The big news here is that Jason can’t use Peyton again this season.

RB: Frank Gore (49ers) –  Always a solid play. St. Louis is better than people think, though. Against the run, their defense is 8th in the league. On the plus side, San Fran still has no QB, so they have no choice but to pound the ball with Gore.

WR: DeSean Jackson (Eagles) – As Jason noted on the podcast, Jackson has a potentially tough matchup this week, vs the Redskins and DeAngelo Hall. This type of game lends itself toward the boom or bust picks, though, and that’s Jackson just about every week.

TE: Jacob Tamme (Colts) – A nice little sleeper pick. Tamme has some people questioning if Dallas Clark may be a bit overrated the way he has stepped in and not missed a beat.


QB: Ryan Fitzpatrick (Bills) – The Bills need a win. Badly. Fitzpatrick is playing well. Mostly. Seems like a boom or bust play here.

RB: Arian Foster (Texans) – Get at least one stud in your lineup every week is the mantra of this game, and Foster is most definitely a stud, particularly against Jacksonville.

WR: Andre Johnson (Texans) – Ok, new mantra: TWO studs are better than one. Although teaming Johnson with Foster may turn out to be a bad decision. We’ll have to wait and see.

TE: Dustin Keller (Jets) – I mentioned on the podcast that this pick was made purely as an attempt to reverse jinx my actual fantasy opponent this week. Seems like flawed reasoning, but a good way to cover all bases.


Listen to next week’s podcast for our Week 11 picks.

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Podcast Tidbits

This episode would have been aptly titled, “The one in which Josh makes a veiled reference to a popular youtube clip.” Specifically, this one:

Also, we made up a game. We’re calling it “Four By Four”, and just for fun we gave it some rules. Here are the basics:
Each person picks one each: a QB, WR, RB, TE. Standard fantasy scoring, most points wins. Each week a contestant must pick four NEW players. Can’t use the same guys twice.

We discussed our favorite alternate jerseys, including this one:

Enjoy the show…

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Think Tank Episode 1.0

ThinkTank Episode 1

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Five Surprise Predictions For The NBA Season

"Lot of potential. Just didn't work. Thumbs down from me."

“Shaking My Head”

As I sit here to write this, The new-look Miami Heat have just been embarassed by the Celtics in Boston, and rings have just been presented to the Lakers in Los Angeles. These are the two capital cities of NBA-land, make no mistake, and judging by the raucousness of the crowd in Boston tonight the NBA is doing well with them as their flagships.

But as we all know, there are a few teams that will be doing their best to steal that spotlight this year. Obviously the Heat, with their three-headed monster, are poised for years of greatness, but other teams are also very close to breaking out. In no particular order, the Jazz, Bulls, Thunder, and Hawks are teams with tremendous upside that could all challenge for a title this year. The NBA seems poised for a nice little run if these teams can live up to the hype, and this should be a great transition year.

The best thing about a transition year is the likelihood that there will be plenty of surprises. Certain players may have excellent seasons that seemingly come out of nowhere. Sure we see surprises every year (Did anyone think Monta Ellis would be a top-6 scorer last year? Or that Zach Randolph would have 57 double-doubles? Ok, fine, but I didn’t, ok?), but this year could be just crazy enough to leave us shaking our heads (SMH? SOH’s?). Or we won’t shake our heads. Maybe some will, but not others. Really, it’s personal preference. Anyway, yeah, take a look at five things that will make me shake my head (SMH), maybe.

Lebron James will average 35 points per game.  This may not seem like that big of a stretch, but the fact is that LeBron has never averaged more than the 31.4 he averaged in 05-06, so 35 would be significantly higher than his career high. Also, joining the Heat was supposed to lighten Lebron’s workload not raise it, right? Wrong. At least, according to what we saw tonight. This team is going to rely on Lebron very heavily, and even an injury to a role player (Their best option to replace Mike Miller is Jerry Stackhouse? Seriously?) will leave them with such little depth that James, Wade, and Bosh will probably all average at least 25. We’ve never seen a team built this way. We have NO IDEA what will happen. This could be awesome.

The Lakers will not finish as the #1 seed in the West.   This could just simply be me being sick of the Lakers run, but I feel like they could easily just have one of those years where they take it a little too easy during the regular season. The Bulls did loosened up somewhat toward the end of their run, although never to the point where they lost the #1 seed. So, if the Lakers do it this year, it will merely prove my point: Kobe Bryant is no Michael Jordan. Maybe only myself, Jordan, and Jordan’s son believe this, but if this happens I think it would be  definitive proof.

The NBA will set an all-time attendance record.   The league has been holding steady for a few years now, and the current attendance record was set just five years ago. The other curiosity that year? The Miami Heat on a title run. Coincidence? Maybe, but let’s say that it’s not. The Heat are prominent once again, and the league as a whole has buzz, and I think it will translate at the ticket office.

The Knicks will win a playoff series.   With the addition of A’mare Stoudamire, the Knicks will definitely see some improvement, but I have yet to hear anyone saying that they will actually win a series. If they could somehow finish as at least a #6 seed, they would have a chance to do just that. Maybe they would run into a Bulls or Celtics team that is beat up at the end of the year. All of a sudden the NBA would have awoken the sleeping giant market, and talk of Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony maybe, possibly heading to NYC would dominate ESPN. It could get nauseating. Don’t blame me.

Craig Sager will go too far with one of his outfits and draw a fine from the NBA. Just like all scandals, this will be awkward and hilarious, but would I be surprised if the colorful TNT/TBS analyst just showed up one day with some sort of inappropriate tie, or a “Vote for Sharron Angle” button on his blazer? Nope, not at all. Although, I’m not sure what everyone would tweet about without “Sages” around for a game or two.

These are all guaranteed to come true, so just write them down now. Or just bookmark the page I guess. Your call.

Here are a few more predictions:

East Champ: Bulls

West Champ: Lakers

NBA champion: Lakers

MVP: Derrick Rose

Rookie of the Year: DeMarcus Cousins

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Under (long overdue) Construction

Sometimes life gets in the way of doing the things we actually like to do in our spare time. Sometimes it’s a new baby, sometimes it’s more responsibilities at work, sometimes you just feel like being a slacker. In my case, I’d answer D) “All Of The Above”.

But allow me to stop digressing and start progressing toward the point, which is that grand happenings are a-coming. The baby will be 1 in December, so it’s time to get off my lazy ass and start writing again.

Not just writing, but also podcasting. Jason and I are in the collaborating and idea-forming stage of developing “The Think Tank”, a weekly podcast produced in the studios of the University of Indianapolis and available here at the site.

Not just writing and podcasting, but also, um, well maybe that is it for now. But in the future we hope to have more contributors on board that share our love and disdain for all things encapsulated under the moniker of “Sport”.

Stay tuned..

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